..me..

kerana esok cuti

2011-04-24T23:52:00.001+03:00

qotd

2011-04-19T00:46:00.001+03:00

my questions of the day would be:
why do we need to choose if we can have all?
why do we need to choose if the choice we made is actually a mistake?
why bother choosing anyway if it is already written?
why even bother asking me what my choice would be because don't want to choose anything?

pfftt..
abang's favourite phrase: why so serious?

p/s: miss u abang mas...

things with reasons

2011-04-17T01:41:00.001+03:00

reasons didn't update:
-phone run out of internet service
-busy with final paper
-spending time at auntie rose's

continue later.got to have some sleep..

living in kiev

2011-04-09T15:58:00.001+03:00

living in kiev is sometime pain in the ass.but as alrealdy spent almost my teenage life here,well,i'm adapted to it.shall say,i'd miss this place though.. :)

hujung minggu kembali lagi

2011-04-09T14:55:00.001+03:00

dah lama tak melawat blog saya.
tak de aper yang penting pun,busy with ups and downs.
saya akan cuba menulis setiap malam.(cewaahh,sangat wishful thinking).
last but not least,selamat berhujung minggu. :)

konflik dengan diri sendiri

2011-01-30T22:42:00.001+02:00

apa kau nak ni efi.
cuba kau tgk org lain.elok jer berjaya.
apa lagi kau nak ni efi.
cuba lah kau pandang depan.pandang str8 ke depan.
apa lagi yg tak cukup hah?
boleh tak kau guna je apa yang ada depan mata kau?
kecoh la kau ni efi.
jangan banyak songel.
sila lempang diri sendiri.

kita di satu hari berlalu

2011-01-18T02:26:00.001+02:00

satu hari tu kita sama2 menari dalam hujan.
kini yang tinggal cuma hujan.
satu hari tu panas terik.
kita sama2 berteduh di pohon rendang.
sekarang cuma tinggal matahari dan pohon itu.
satu hari kita berjalan melintas angkasa.
baru.jauh.
kini cuma tinggal angkasa yang sepi.
satu hari kita meniti jambatan usang.
sekarang jambatan tu sudah tiada.
yang tinggal hanya hutan belukar.
satu hari aku jatuh.
kau di situ menyambut aku.
kini aku perlu bangun sendiri.
satu hari yg lepas berlalu pergi.
yang tinggal cuma memori.
tentang kita di setiap satu hari.

back to school time..

2011-01-17T01:35:00.002+02:00

i am about to sleep.suddently i remembered the dream i had yesterday.haha.in my dream,i was kicking my neighbor's ass,seriously kicking his ass because he was disturbing me.it was not funny.i mean,the dream was not funny.the funny part was,i actually was kicking his ass in my dream equivalent to kicking the wall hard in reality.haha.dont mess with me because i seriously going to kick asses,even in my dream.

goodnight all.and tomorrow is gonna be the first day of class after a long winter break.love it!

wrong belongings.

2011-01-05T01:18:00.000+02:00

what we want, we don't get it.
what we have, we don't appreciate it.
what we appreciate, is not ours to be..

they say nothing is perfect in this world.
i say it is our choice and decision.

authors and their books

2011-01-04T00:55:00.001+02:00

i adore books writers.
they are so genius.
especially those who wrote medical books.
i wish i am having their genius brains.
thank you for sharing your knowledge. :)
i love your books and i will try to finish reading what you were writing. :)

my boyfriend's girlfriend

2011-01-03T02:13:00.002+02:00

my boyfriend has a girlfriend.
i pity him because he has to listen to her every single moment.
my boyfriend's girlfriend likes to talk and when she talks,she can't find a full-stop.
my boyfriend never complains but keeps on listening even to the very crapy things she says.
i guess my boyfriend loves his girlfriend so much.
and i am honored to called myself his girlfriend.

kisah aku dan mereka di hari kedua

2011-01-02T00:46:00.001+02:00

jiran-jiran masih segar berpesta di dapur.
tapi aku sudah mengantuk.
muzik masih berkumandang.
tapi mata aku sudah kuyu.
suara-suara mereka masih jelas bertutur.
tapi aku sudah tidak mampu berdiri.
di luar semakin sejuk dan salji memutih.
aku sudah berselimut.
terdengar pecahan gelas kaca.
tapi aku tidak kuasa keluar dan melihat.
biarkan mereka gembira di luar.
asalkan tiada yang cedera.
suara mereka masih bergema,masih gembira.
maka aku tahu tiada apa-apa.
mereka kanak-kanak yang masih panjang waktunya.
tapi aku,tinggal beberapa ketika.
maka aku mahu tidur sekarang..

hari kedua

2011-01-01T21:49:00.000+02:00

ish..kenapa tiba2 rasa seperti mahu pulang???
tidak tidak tidak..
kenapa rasa seperti mahu berhari raya??
tidak tidak tidak...
kenapa terasa seperti mahu makan satay??
tidak tidak tidak........
aku masih punya lebih kurang 200 hari lagi..
kenapa perasaan ini muncul sekarang???
tidak tidak tidak!!!

01012O11

2011-01-01T02:36:00.000+02:00

happy new year 2011..
may this year brings joys and happiness..
lets spread the loves endlessly!!
:)

first and foremost..i would like to thank those who have visited my blog since back then..thank u thank u thank u..
and i wish u all a better life ahead..(with smiles on top)

and now..the new beginning..new stories..(i'll try to frequently updating)

i can still see the colorful fireworks from my window,they are still celebrating.
i am full with joys and happiness,to share with those who care.
i still have those smiles on my face,never want them to fade.
i have lots of loves in me,never less even i've been hurt in the past.
i am still me,still standing,still with mission to achieve and accomplish.

mwasch..HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011.. :)

winter 2010

2010-12-01T22:57:00.001+02:00

today is a first day of winter..
my final winter in kiev.. *sigh
few more months to go..
i am still not well prepared..
why is that?? i myself can't answer that..

the first day of winter..
started with -11c and now continue to drop..
i hope i can stand this coldness..

and i am smiling (automatically) without any reason.
w.e.i.r.d.o

a bit of come back.

2010-11-26T20:51:00.001+02:00

snow is coming.very soon.anytime from now.
i am not prepared,not yet,to face those icy-cold days and nights.
also am not ready to yet to face to bigger responsibilities.
the time will come soon,well i should go get my brain set.

looking outside my window.
perhaps icy balls or flakes will come down tonight.
or tomorrow is going to be white.(and cold).
i do miss people that i love.
yet i cant go anywhere but here.
to finish what i have started.

pens,papers and books (also notebook and printer) are my friends that never leave me.
or i choose them over others. (excluded loved ones).
not to forget,mr story book entitled harry potter keeps me busy too.

last but not least,
i am glad i am born as me.
alhamdulillah.
and you should to! :)

i do

2010-11-09T16:27:00.002+02:00

a smile

and

laugher

is the best medicine

a smile a day keeps a devil away

2010-11-08T23:04:00.000+02:00

woke up from the sleep and fell from the bed

hahahahahaha

this is my sunday..

2010-11-07T23:02:00.000+02:00

p/s: if u are worried,pls dont! coz this is what i did the whole day..and i love u no matter what and how u r..

grumble

2010-11-07T18:20:00.000+02:00

i dont know why i am having this feeling.perhaps i am upset with what you did.yes i know i am not the perfect person as you wished to have.but asking my best friend behind my back??
come on.if you cant accept me the way i am,so don't.i feel disappointed.you were asking me questions about my past and i answered.yes,i took time to answer your questions.but at least i did.i don't care about your past because i don't care to know.admit i made mistakes.i don't like the way you critic me,because never in my mind i want to hurt you.you are making me feel like i am given no choice yet lots of choices in front of me.
do you aspect me to change,for you??

perhaps you rather have a hypocrite than a sincere me?

it is friday

2010-11-05T09:10:00.000+02:00

happy dewali to those who are celebrating it. :)

am ready.put on earrings.paul smith for women.grabbed a jacket, my schoolbag, mp3, some money in pocket.watch.yeah.i'm set.aite.time to class!! :)

p/s: my final autumn in kiev..

don'ts-and-you

2010-11-04T22:20:00.000+02:00

don't love me...love u

don't hug me...hug u

don't eat me...eat u

don't play me...play u

don't know me...know u

hahahahaha

mono

2010-11-04T16:09:00.000+02:00

i am not afraid to fall in love.

failed in relationship,met new guy,fell in love again,failed again,in love again,the cycle that continues..
hell with people who pointed fingers at me and said 'she has a numbers of boyfriends'..
so what??

if you are offered 10 universities,of cause you are going to choose the best among them.if you are offered with only one university,you cant say your choice is the BEST,can you?because you have no other options.
and perhaps i am not afraid to be in relationship because,what worst can it be?getting hurt??pfftt..
get hurt-build up strength-fall in love again-get hurt again-build up strength again-fall in love again-....

even sir thomas edison said so: 'I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.'
STOP BLAMING!!

p/s: you can say what you want.it's your choice of thinking..

i miss them

2010-11-02T21:59:00.000+02:00

ego

2010-11-01T20:00:00.002+02:00

i like u!

amarah berilmiah. :)

2010-10-31T21:29:00.001+02:00

3 kinds of abscesses:

pyogenic abscess, pyaemic abscess, cold abscess

probably you have either one of this in your heart

please go check!!

p/s: kinda hate u.please go die.

gajah dan katak

2010-10-29T00:20:00.000+03:00

saya ada seekor gajah besar berwarna putih.

nama gajah saya vola.

vola ada lima anak gajah bernama mika, daci, wiza, locu dan viwo.

vola juga ada anak angkat iaitu katak lompat bernama micu.

mereka sangat bahagia.

saya pun sangat suka.

saya akan ada beberapa gajah lagi kerana vola sedang membunting.

ini semua hasil uji kaji in vitro saya.

life =)

2010-10-27T00:02:00.000+03:00

i: s,thanks.
s: thanks for what?
i: for reminding me that,there are more i should think in my life.other than money or even myself.i should look out for other people too.thanks.

and they both smile to each other.

cutttt!!!!

i like to watch malay series at times..

2010-10-26T00:16:00.000+03:00

reza n putri..sweet.

shasha n irwan..pun sweet.

putri n mia..lovely..

zie n j..good..

few others..lovely dovey..

i love them all

and i love the story

the way they handle situations

I LOVE U, PRINCE!!!

:)

2010-10-25T20:00:00.000+03:00

you

are

like

box

STARS

!!!

the he-she things.

2010-10-25T00:42:00.001+03:00

she is a tomboy..does not mean she has no good heart..

he is a soft spoken type of person...does not make him a gay..

she is a dancer.. does not mean she cannot do housework..

he is a body builder..does not mean he is a gangster..

she is young and happy..does not mean she never feels sad..

he is hot and sexy..does not mean he is a player..

she is quiet..does not mean she is not a melodrama..

he is a wicked man..does not mean he is forever evil..

"whatever it is..every decisions come with big responsibilities"

p/s: don't judge when u know nothing.

sunday always comes before monday

2010-10-24T22:15:00.000+03:00

the Sunday went very well.
i was easing my mind.
woke up late like ever.
putting back clothes in order.
took long hot shower at my friend's.
ate cekodok and cherry tea for lunch.
cooked dinner n had it with my long-lost-classmate who was just arrived.
watching parenthood episodes continuously.
and no books on SUNDAY.
it feels so good!!!!

i am gaining back my auras...go go go!!

to little penguin..

2010-10-24T00:59:00.000+03:00

hAppY BiRthDAy

PENGUIN!!

p/s: may u have a happy life ahead. :) big hug!!

p/s2: will see u next year insya allah..

owh my god-able.

2010-10-22T00:21:00.001+03:00

owh my god.lama nya aku tak update blog.
reasons:
1.been bz lately with books n notes.
2.fell sick for few days.
3.surgery cycle

owh my god.what had happened to me recently:
1.homesick for 'i-dont-know-how-many-times-in-this-month'
2.sick yet having so much fun in surgery cycle
3.spent time with my best-buddy-gold-fish (will upload some pictures soon)
4.missing my sisters n nieces n mama so damn much.
5.in love with aries.

owh my god.what did i do:
1.still spending time on fb.
2.nervous n excited for some occasions.
3.belajar memasak.thihihih.suda tiada si manis utk masakkan tatkala lapa.

owh my god.i am craving for:
1.new york fried ice cream.
2.crimean's famous plov and shashlik.
3.kek lapis. (should learn how to bake this)

owh my god.what am i gonna do as saturday approching:
1.books (boring)
2.notes (again?boring)
3.phone (am a technophobic..noooo)
4.series (yes yes..agree!!)

p/s:do ignore the self-conflicts am having.sometimes i like to monologue probably am having a split personality.(diagnose: crazy?..i dont take it as crazy or psycho..i put it as unique thoughts)

last but not least..
nunite.sweet dreams.

autumn yang beku

2010-10-06T21:49:00.000+03:00

matahari cuma mampu tersenyum

terikan kamu tidak membantu memanasakan tubuh beku aku

musim luruh baru bermula

mampukah aku menempuhi musim salji

aku sentiasa menghargai panas!!

so today is monday

2010-10-04T20:50:00.000+03:00

everybody has their wedding fantasies

but i dont have any

i dont fantasize any

am i weird or something?

does wedding really matter?

night is dark

no moon no stars

it is cold outside

and heaters are heating me up

can i stand this coming winter?

when i cant 'do' this autumn

dear dear dear

and so today is monday

..

2010-10-03T23:22:00.000+03:00

good night

october has begun

2010-10-03T11:48:00.000+03:00

a cold-sunny weekend

a cup of coffee

a story book

tell me what i missed?

piat minut pereriv...

2010-09-26T12:25:00.000+03:00

am taking a five minutes break.
masih banyak kena tahu.owh my god.banyak nyer.owh my god.blh tak saya ader external memory yg blh plug in kt kepala?or maybe multiple banyak2 cell otak supaya memory saya lebih banyak banyak dan banyak dan berguna.
banyak nya lagi.boleh tak stop masa sekejap utk saya supaya saya dapat blajar semua dan masih ada banyak masa.mampukah?
owh pening sekejap.tak per.semangat!go!

:P

p/s: 5 mins is over.get back to work.

semuanya tiba-tiba

2010-09-25T23:08:00.000+03:00

tiba-tiba saya rasa sakit hati.
tiba-tiba saya rasa sangat jeles.
tiba-tiba saya rasa macam awak tak sayang saya pun.
tiba-tiba mood swing.
tiba-tiba saya rasa marah.
dan..
lebih bagus tidur!!!

hari.sabtu.

2010-09-25T20:58:00.001+03:00

bulan mengambang.

secawan teh panas yang menyejuk.

dua buku rujukan.

helaian kertas berselerakan.

jeling ke kanan dan kiri.

di luar sudah gelap.

maghrib sudah berganti isyak.

ada kerdipan lampu di langit.

mungkin kapal terbang.

'encik pilot.boleh berhenti sekejap dan ambil saya?saya homesick!'

150 juta oleh fynn berkumandang.

melihat bulan lagi.

kenapa bulan bukan pujaan hati saya?

saya suka bintang!

kerdipan bintang walaupun kecil tapi indah.

owh hari sabtu sudah hampir berakhir.

aku perlu sambung belajar.

daaaa...

surat cinta

2010-09-20T01:17:00.002+03:00

kepada si cinta..

aku cinta kau..

sekian.

aku dan semalam.

2010-09-19T19:46:00.000+03:00

semalam yang gelap.
semalam yang hitam.
semalam yang tanpa cahaya.
semalam yang sengsara.
semalam yang sedih.
semalam yang duka.
semalam yang hiba.
semalam yang kusut.
semalam yang tanpa arah.
semalam yang resah.

tapi kenapa salahkah semalam kerana semalam yang membawa tuah hari ini. :)
terima kasih semalam.

khamis to khamis

2010-09-19T01:50:00.000+03:00

beberapa hari sebelum raya.
one sad news.my late grandma's lil bro passed away.
alfatihah.semoga roh tokcu dicucuri rahmat.aminnnn.

malam menyambut raya.
malam tu malam yang pertama aku dengar lagu raya.sepanjang berpuasa di msia,aku tak nak dengar langsung lagu raya.tak tau lah kenapa.mungkin hiba sebab aku tahu aku akan pulang ke sini beberapa hari sebelum raya.dan mendengar takbir raya beberapa kali.sungguh sayu.

pagi raya.
owh.aku dapat cuti raya.sehari.maka hari khamis tidak perlu ke kelas.tapi pagi raya aku sama seperti pagi-pagi lain.tiada solat sunat aidilfitri pun.hambar.

hari raya.
aku bersama beberapa kerat perantau yang masih mempunyai baki-baki tugasan.hari raya aku kali ini tak lah semeriah tahun-tahun sebelum.tapi tak ngapa.masih diraikan.
aku telefon family kat msia dan itu lah ucapan raya pertama yg aku bagi.sepanjang ramadhan,aku tak ucapkan selamat hari raya pun kat sesiapa.tak semangat langsung!tapi tak per..mama abah,maafkan segala silap salahku,halal kan makan minumku yer.i love u!!
1 syawal thn lepas,nenek aku pulang ke rahmatullah.al fatihah buat wan.walaupun kami tak de la rapat sangat tapi wan tetap aku sayang.mama,jangan sedih yer..
sebelum beraya kat resident,sempat aku bertemu cinta.sungguh indah.
''oit,thank u nyanyikan utk saya walaupun dalam alam maya.saya sangat suka dan sangat terharu.
sangat terharu apabila awak pakai songkok dan menyanyikan lagu itu dengan semangat.''

jumaat (2nd day raya aku,1st day raya kat msia)
aku call msia lagi!!baru terasa raya.baru meriah hari raya.suka!tapi sayangnya aku ader kelas.tak de la suka mana kan.owh and thank u yer kawan2 yang datang rumah saya beraya walaupun saya tak de kat msia.insya allah tahun depan saya ada kat msia beraya bersama.

sabtu (3rd day raya aku,2nd day raya kat msia)
syasya si cousin ku sayang text aku.. ''oi kata na call saya hari raya'' dan aku ''ops salah hari raya ke aku nie''.aku trus call sebab dia kan cousin aku paling sayang.cakap ngan pak lang,maklang,syasya,yna,kak aus n madiah.lalalalalalala.yer kitorg memang suka bergossip dan cakap jerit-jerit kat telefon.sorry odang!!
tu lah kali terakhir aku cakap dengan paklang.

hari khamis.
paklang ku yang aku paling sayang telah pulang ke rahmatullah.
al fatihah untuk beliau.semoga rohnya ditempat org2 yang kau kasihi.
sangat sedih,dan aku tau aku sebenarnya masih tak dapat terima hakikat tu.tapi aku kan cool.biarkan tembok2 hati aku menjadi keras supaya air mata aku tak jatuh lagi.aku kena kuat!supaya syasya pun kuat.
paklang.doa aku akan sentiasa mengiringi paklang.

jumaat.
la.dah jumaat ke?cepat nyer jumaat.dan hari terakhir dalam minggu ini aku ke kelas.minggu depan final cycle pediatrics.bermakna,exam!!hell!!

sabtu.
maka hari ini hari sabtu.
kisah cinta yg semakin membara-bara.ya allah.kau kuatkan lah aku.
semoga perjalanan ini tenang dan kau redhakan lah urusan aku.

ahad..
satu hari yang baru.
tinggallah hari-hari dan kenangan yang lepas di belakang dan permudahkanlah urusan mendatang aku.
aku tidak mahu lagi menoleh ke belakang dan mengenang kisah silam.
semoga aku menjadi seorg yang berguna dan hidup aku diberkati.

note:
sayang jugak nak tinggalkan kiev.tapi tak sabar utk pulang ke tanah air.
owh sungguh berbaur perasaan ini,.

aku cinta kau!!

si chomel saya

2010-09-13T19:35:00.000+03:00

a call from a guy

2010-09-12T22:25:00.000+03:00

a call i received from a-first-year dentistry guy (should i say boy) who wanted to 'date' with me..
my god..do i look like a small lil kiddo?come on..
and what did i do...i passed the phone to my neighbor n he talked to this lil boy..too bad..sorry boy..
i am too busy for this-hello-can-u-be-my-date-thing..
go find someone else..

nite.

selamat hari raya

2010-09-12T00:52:00.000+03:00

i thought there is no more love for me in this world anymore..
but sayang...
i guess mr cupid did his work well..
and u never failed to put those smiles back on my face..

finally i found my anyway friend..

I LOVE U...

p/s:hugs n kisses.

soon to say goodbye..

2010-09-03T23:11:00.000+03:00

krak krak..(bunyi jari2 yg diregangkan).

my god,it has been a long time since my last entry.

wahahaha..sangat gembira apabila blog ni sudah berjaya di buka semula.

and i am back in kiev.

suhu 14degree C.plus hujan.plus angin.sejuk.and winter is coming.

it is going to be my last winter in kiev.

i am surely going to miss this place,this country that i used to hate,these people that i used to dislike.

well.i've spent most of my teenage life here in this country while others spent theirs happily back in msia or other nicer countries.

seburuk2 negara ni dan se-paling-tak-best dan se-sakit-gile-hati dari aku dengan negara nie,tapi aku masih sayang utk tinggalkan negara ini,walaupun tanah air paling best.

kat sini aku blajar erti hidup.aku tau macam mana hidup susah.aku tau macam2 jenis manusia.

kat sini jugak aku blajar yg manusia tu bermuka2,aku belajar utk mencintai dan membenci.

everything is about surviving.u fall u get up.well perhaps that is the sweetness of living.

i am going to miss my life here in kiev.i guess i know kiev better than kuala lumpur.i guess i feel more safer here.

i just like it here as much as i like to be in malaysia.

wahhhh..homesick..

negaraku.tanah tumpahnya darahku.rakyat hidup.bersatu dan maju.rahmat bahagia.tuhan kurniakan.raja kita.selamat bertakhta.rahmat bahagia.tuhan kurniakan.raja kita.selamat bertakhta.

i bet ramai jer org da lama tak nyanyi lagu negaraku. :)

aku patriotik kot.

i miss blogging

2010-09-03T22:06:00.000+03:00

to elly..syasya..fura..and abang..
fifi da blh blog again!!! :)

to penguin..
i miss u n ur blog..

to other bloggers...
i will go n pay a visit to ur blog..

it's a yeay yeay

2010-09-03T21:43:00.001+03:00

yeay...
berjaya retrieved..
yeay yeay yeay...
suka nya...
yeay...

good morning JUNE!!

2010-06-01T00:35:00.000+03:00

new month has started.yet there are still things that i have to settle.
anyways..check list for june..
1. tickets to malaysia
2. tickets to uk
3. debts of missing classes
---------------------------------------------------------------------
boring nyer page nie..ish..perlu perubahan nie..more colorful,more merrier..
---------------------------------------------------------------------
owh lord..
kak sue dah na balik msia for good.gembira and sedih.perasaan yang berbaur.but all the best for her and hope she is always happy, healthy and wealthy..
owh god..
semester is going to finish soon.next year is my final year.am i well prepared??owh god owh god..takut nyer.
owh friends..
di kesempatan ini,saya ingin memanjatkan jutaan tahniah kepada kawan2 yang akan mendirikan rumah tangga.terima kasih atas undangan ke majlis kalian.mohon maaf saya tidak dapat menghadirkan diri atas sebab2 yang tidak dapat dielakkan.
semoga kalian bahagia sentiasa dan berkekalan selamanya.
owh family..
sila tunggu kepulangan ku walaupun cuma sebentar. :)

when wednesday turns sunny..

2010-05-26T14:52:00.001+03:00

yes yes yes...
one more time..and this time..louder..
YES!!!!

can i preserve this happy feeling n use it bit a bit when i feel sad?? :)

p/s:
i too had a broken heart.and people keep breaking my heart.but do i take it personal??
no,of course.because everyday is a new day. :)

i believe in miracles.i believe in myself.

his name is...

2010-05-21T15:03:00.001+03:00

today IS friday which i dont feel like friday but like the other weekdays.
had epidemiology exam n scored.
mode: happy
i bumped into a guy whom i like since i was in 2nd year.
mode: extra happy
talking to that guy for few minutes before getting into bus.
mode: he made my day.

sukaaaaaaaaaaaaa...big smile.......long weekend as monday is a religious holiday..

happy...happy...happy...

saya

2010-05-20T13:12:00.001+03:00

saya tulis apa saya rasa.
sebab saya suka.
berkongsi apa saya rasa.
wiiiiiii.... :)

kenapa???

2010-05-19T22:50:00.001+03:00

ahhhh...apsal blog site nie da bertukar2?adakah aku yang terlewat sebab da lama ta blogging?ataupun aku sudah makin buta it??wahhhh...

may may may

2010-05-19T17:06:00.001+03:00

sungguh indah di bulan may.matahari pun dah senyum2.internet di telefon sudah kembali menemani.
may may may..
owh alamak.hutang tagging..encik yeop,saya akan cuba sekali lagi ok.
agak sudah lama tak merepek kat blog.last time asyik kisah cinta.bosan lah.mari mula hidup baru. :)

april yang pergi

2010-05-05T20:29:00.001+03:00

kisah di bulan april.
tinggal di bulan april.
sakit di bulan april.
kenapa lukanya masih berdarah di bulan may?

aku tiada marah.
aku tiada dendam.
aku tiada benci.
maka benarkan aku berhenti.
mengejar yang tiada mungkin terjadi.

dan esok bermatahari.
walaupun hari ini mendung.
atau hujan di hari lusa.

ini bukan cinta :)

part 3

2010-04-16T22:46:00.000+03:00

Tik tik tik tik.Titisan hujan menghiasi hari aku.Aku cuma melihat setiap titisan yang gugur ke bumi,memandang tanpa ada apa-apa perasaan.Petang ini aku rasa seperti terlalu kosong.Aku terus melihat keluar di jalanan dari tingkap bilikku.Berpusu-pusu manusia melangkah.Aku tidak tahu apa yang dikejar.Yang aku tahu,citidiot.Sambil menghirup hot chocolate aku terus memerhati.
Ada yang berpegangan tangan,ada yang berpelukan,ada yang bersendirian dan ada juga yang berkucupan.Urghh,get a room.Hujan masih lagi renyai-renyai.Sungguh romantik suasana petang ini.
"Oit perempuan,kau na pergi jogging ke tak ni?"
"Aku mana lah layan jogging-jogging ni.U go get yourself a nice jog in the drizzle while i am taking care of this room."
"Banyak lah kau taking care of this room.Come on.Get over it!Come on.All you need is a fresh air."
"I am enjoying my views and enjoying my cup of hot chocolate."
"Whatever.You are going to get yourself sick ok if you continue being like this."
"Don't worry.I am going to get sick if i am walking in that drizzle.I will do hulla hoop in the room to keep myself in shape."
Selepas lima belas minit,aku meninggalkan tingkap dan mencapai hulla hoop.Fikiranku melayang dan berputar-putar seperti putaran hulla hoop di pinggang aku.
'Tolonglah pergi semua ini dari hidup aku.Aku tidak mahu begini lagi',gertus aku di dalam hati..

part 2

2010-04-15T15:17:00.000+03:00

Ada cinta dalam hati.Mungkin sama seperti mereka yang lain yang hangat-hangat hati berbunga berseri-seri.Aku selalu kalah dalam cinta.Satu ketika aku rasakan seperti cinta itu bukan milik aku dan tidak mungkin akan menjadi milik aku.Apalah gunanya bercinta kalau sekadar untuk seketika.
Tapi mungkin hanya aku yang mempunyai perasaan sebegitu apabila yang lain sebenarnya tidak pernah merasakan apa yang tersirat.Kecewa aku,suka duka aku,gembira aku,bukan untuk hiasan.Itu pengalaman aku dan dengan itu juga aku menuruskan perjalanan sebuah kehidupan.
Suatu ketika aku bertanya,adakah perasaan itu benar atau cuma suatu yang menziarahi tatkala aku sendiri.Perlukah ada perasaan seperti ini?
Setiap kali aku lihat kanan dan kiri,teman-teman aku satu persatu menamatkan zaman bujang,terdetus di hati aku,marriage is not my thing anymore.
Dan aku terus melihat ke hadapan.Berjalan terus cuba untuk tidak melihat kembali memori masa lalu.Tapi sebenarnya dalam hati masih ada cinta.Dengan senyuman aku terus melangkah.Walaupun perlahan aku tetap gembira.Seperti riangnya si dara mendapat bunga..

kisah aku

2010-04-11T10:45:00.000+03:00

Cerita ini bukan cerita gembira seperti tergambar di mata-mata mereka.Kisah seorang aku yang sudah bosan melalui kehidupan penuh hipokrasi.Mungkin aku juga antara mereka,menyimpan semua rasa yang aku ada.Bukan berniat menjadi seperti mereka,cuma tiada kata yang sesuai menggambarkan rasa terpendam di dada.
Dunia ini penuh dendam.Tempat ini tanpa kasih sayang.Aku tidak faham kenapa masih ada lagi mereka yang hanya berkata manis di depan tetapi sebaliknya di belakang.Why can't they just say it?Why can't i just say it straight?
Ada cinta dalam hati aku yang masih tidak mampu untuk aku luahkan.Ada sayang dalam hati tapi terlalu sukar untuk aku keluarkan.Ada duka dan gembira untuk dikongsi tapi mungkin lebih baik kalau disimpan sendiri.
Memandang ke kiri dan kanan.Aku lebih suka berada di zon selamat supaya tiada langkah yang tersilap,maka tidak perlu lagi tangisan di malam hari.
Terus memandang ke depan dan sekali-sekala menoleh ke belakang.Adakah indah jalan yang aku pilih?Atau masih gelap seperti jalan yang aku tinggal?

2010-04-10T00:00:00.001+03:00

LAlaLalA